Gulf Coast Family

"Are you a quarterback or a defensive end?"

"Yes"

In high school football, especially in small schools, players generally have to line up in a multitude of positions. Twice I have coached a player that was a quarterback on offense and a defensive end on defense. Just as there are many different positions in football, there are even more different types of personalities. As a coach you learn to coach different players in different ways. The same rules are in place for all the members of the team, but how they are implemented and enforced may vary.

Raising a family involves the same thinking. When looking for some time with daddy, one child may want to sit down on the family room floor and play Lego cow boys and Indians for hours and hours, while another child would much rather stage a fifteen minute knock-down wrestling match on the living room floor. To wrestle the "Lego – man" might be too intense, while building Legos with the wrestling champ might be far too slow. The key is to know each child individually. Both need time with Dad, but their needs are met in different ways.

Discipline should be administered the same way. Some football players respond to physical "punishment": running sprints, doing pushups or sit-ups, or a combination of both. Other players respond much better to a one on-one discussion with a coach. Knowing the temperament of the player helps the coach understand the right approach. In a family setting, the same dynamic is at play. When a child needs discipline the correct approach is important. Some children respond better to corporal punishment, while others respond to a discussion and "grounding". Knowing the child will help a parent understand the right method of discipline.

All members of a family are unique and special, but not all are treated exactly the same. Children need different types of encouragement; children need different types of discipline. The key for parents is to know their children as individuals. This will allow them to parent each child in the way that helps that individual child to reach his or her fullest potential.

Rick Sanson has taught History and coached football for over 15 years. He is the varsity football coach for Keswick Christian School. He and his wife, Kathy, have four children.