Gulf Coast Family

by Melanie Pav

It may seem far off in the distant future, but eventually the day will arrive when your child leaves home, a self-reliant and independent adult. To prepare for that day, he needs to begin early developing the skills needed to maintain a well-ordered and responsible life. You don’t begin training him the summer before he leaves for college; you begin when he is a toddler.

Quick Organizational Tips

• Keep your goals small or you won’t achieve them
• Identify and reduce your material excesses
• Resist the “collector’s instinct”
• Utilize inexpensive bins and baskets to keep things sorted
• Model a positive attitude as YOU clean spaces
• Praise your child’s efforts at orderliness

So what exactly does he need to know for a successful adulthood? Before leaving home your child needs to be equipped with a bank of knowledge and skills which might include: knowing the basics of household maintenance, shopping for and preparing nutritious meals, handling his finances responsibly, purchasing and caring for his clothes, coping with the everyday pressures of life without burning out or blowing up, and our focus here, practicing basic cleanliness and organization with his personal belongings.

How can we teach orderliness to our children? . . . first, by modeling it ourselves, then instructing. You can start with this practical plan.

Attack one cluttered area of your home at a time. On Monday and Tuesday of a given week in the presence of your child, choose one small organizational project: a drawer, a shelf, a magazine rack, under the seats in the car, any one cluttered area in your living space. Take ten to fifteen minutes to organize and clean it. It may be helpful to make piles or label boxes for sorting. Demonstrate a pleasant attitude while you are cleaning, and when you are finished, verbally express your pleasure at the completed job. Then resist the temptation to re-clutter the area.

These are categories I use for sorting items:

1. Keep it: I need it, I love it, I can’t live without it. I ask myself, God forbid, if all my possessions were destroyed in a disaster, would I replace this or even miss it?
2. Long term storage: I definitely will need this in the future.
3. Donate it: Bless someone else with it.
4. Trash: Its day has past.

Then on each day, Wednesday through Friday of that week, offer to help your child de-junk one small area of his room in the same way: the floor of his closet, one bookshelf, or the space under his bed. Keep a positive attitude and make it a fun project. Listen to some happy music while you work together. Compliment your child on his wise decisions and generosity in parting with old items he is donating. Praise him for the finished job and encourage him to keep the area clean.

As our children learn to create and maintain order in their spaces, they are not only developing essential life skills. They are also nourishing a sense of self esteem, well being, and an inner desire to do their best, while keeping high standards and establishing control over their lives. These habits will bless them both now and throughout their future as adults.

Melanie and Glenn Pav have four grown sons, two married and two in college.

Melanie and Glenn are frequent speakers at community and homeschool events. For seminar information, contact her at gpav@tampabay.rr.com.